Arrogance is not a US naturalization requirement.  I know after you become a US citizen some of your American friends and coworkers say that they expect to see more arrogance and attitude from you, but that is really a joke.  You know that right?

It is really annoying to see this kind of attitude from some of our beloved Iranian-Americans.  Not just us, when I see another hyphenated American with heavy accent get on TV and express his/her expert opinion on say economy, it is really something when you hear them say; well ______ (his/her country, fill in the blank) is now ahead of “us” in economy in many respects.  What we need to do is address _______ (his/her country) role in world economy head on, take the “cow” by the horn “sort of speaking” and don’t allow “them” to ignore “us”. Again imagine seeing that in a heavy accent.  Isn’t that annoying?!


The other day I had to again participate in another divorce ceremony where the couple had to use the services of an “Agha” who is an Iranian mullah (most likely an Iranian-American mullah :-), usually in suit and approved by the Iranian Govt to perform religious ceremonies such as aghds, weddings or divorces.


I’ve become an expert witness in these things and am starting to think about charging people for it.  You know in these religious ceremonies a minimum of 2 men are required and a man is worth 2 women.  Many of our men either don’t care for these traditions or find it beneath them and think they are too “civilized” to do it and ridicule those who do. Our women don’t want to sign their name as half a man either and who can blame them?  So yours truly comes to the rescue and gladly sign my name without hesitation.  After all it is the couple’s business not mine, I’m only there to help a friend.


Now back to our story.  I was in this Agha’s living room with the blessed divorcees and the ex-husband’s brother as the witness.  Everything was going well and we were having tea and cookies and waiting our turns to sign these documents which everyone clearly examines as if they are Iran’s response to the 5 + 1 nuclear incentive package.  I put up a show of interest but of course I really don’t give a hoot! I even asked Agha about a “clarification” to show everyone how concerned I am and how a simple mistake could cost people their future.  Of course there is no mistake and the Agha explains the issue to me while I finish my 2nd cup of tea.


The ex-husband’s brother and I sign our names as witnesses and then it was the ex-husband’s turn to sign who by the way has another wedding coming up which was a topic of a side discussion with the Agha and if he could get a discount now that he was doing his divorce with him too.


Suddenly he rolled his eyes and asked Agha about the part where he was supposed to claim his country of citizenship.  Agha told him that he had to say Iran which made the man suddenly jump up his seat and claim he is no longer an Iranian citizen since he became a US citizen and wants to put USA as his country of citizenship.  Are you freaking kidding me?!


Agha told him that the divorce will not be valid because only the Iranian Parliament can strip his Iranian citizenship via a ‘vote’ and in order for that to happen he needs to complete an application and send it to Iranian Parliament for action and that could take years and they probably won’t approve it anyway.  The guy deflated and promptly complied and said ok if that is the case he’ll sign it, as if he was looking for a justification and the excuse was good enough.

I see this kind of arrogance over and over again from all races and backgrounds.  I mentioned this story since we are Iranians but it is really not a positive.  It is sad to think you need to worsen your image and consider it an improvement.  Stay cool and true to your heritage.  You’ll look and sound better.






  1. Pedram Says:

    Just a few points of correction; The people handling wedding and divorce paperwork abroad are equivalents of a “mahzar” inside Iran and don’t perform the services of an “agha”, who by definition must have religious training.

    Mahzaris are approved by government and wear a suit regardless of where they perform their job, which is a combination of a wedding registrar and a notary public.

    Last point, by Islamic law, you don’t need a mullah, agha or even mahzari to recite marriage (or divorce) vows and the job can be performed by any other Muslim. The purpose of using a mahzari here is only to register the event with the government of Iran.

    Sorry for the long comment and all the best.

  2. anonymousejoon Says:

    You are probably right but we do these ceremonies regardless of the technicalities. The Aghas that I’ve seen have some religious training and showed me a “handwriting” endorsement of some sort of a religious figure.

    If you plan to go to Iran for a visit or if you need power of attorney or anything, you do need these ceremonies. I don’t mind them, I think they are good. A marriage is a contract no matter how romantic it may be! As such you need to put it on paper and thus the ceremonies.

    thanks for the coment and all the best to you too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: